1. |
1+1=3
03:04
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one plus one turns into us, i met you on the school bus
25 years ago this day, I asked will you marry me
and you said yes and my dreams came true, every minute i think of you
but as time has passed on by us two, i think its time for something new
to liven up our time alone, it's time to add another butt into this show!
so a 3rd i will suggest, let's bring in another guest
for our nakey time, i swear that it's the best!
maybe soon love you will see that one plus one can equal three
just mull it over, I'm sure that you'll agree
I notice that you're a little slow, and pretty close to saying no
but before you dismiss this, there's one thing you should know
you know the mormons in utah, they've been at this for so long
if they say it's right then how could it be wrong?
lets liven up our time alone
it's time to stick another butt into this show
so a 3rd i will suggest, let's bring in another guest
for our nakey time, i swear that it's the best!
maybe soon love you will see that one plus one can equal three
just mull it over, I'm sure that you'll agree
and when you get comfortable
with susie marge or jack or beth or frank or even dave
we can add a 4th or 5th to this human sandwich
so a 3rd i will suggest, let's bring in another guest
for our nakey time, i swear that it's the best!
maybe soon love you will see that one plus one can equal three
just mull it over, I'm sure that you'll agree
that a third would be the best, let's put this up to the test
we'll toss and tumble this room into a mess
I told you love that you would see, that one plus one can equal three
now let's all film this so all our friends can see.
Woo!
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2. |
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awake at noon the morning missed my eyes completely blurred
spent last night just taking the piss hitting on many ah' girl
so outta the bed my phone it beeps, hey peter how have ya been?
he said good mate now get your arse up it's time to go out again!
so up lets go and into town call everyone you know
call billy and ted (and don't forget fred!) i know they all want to go
it's time to partake in your favourite drink until the sun returns
we'll drink until our throats begin to burn!
(2) we drink we fight we sing through the night in pubs with all of our friends
we don't go to sleep til the beer makes us week wake up and do it again!
so down at the pub the evening starts I buy my lads a round
we throw a couple games of darts until a winner's crowned
we get a pint and teddy says, hey we should sing a song!
so then I'm off to take a whiz because he takes so long
(Oye Teddy pick something mate!)
when i return i come to learn he hasn't made up his mind
3 rounds gone and still no song this happens all the time
so up on the bar i take a stand and signal to the band
follow along if you think you can!
(2) we drink we fight we sing through the night in pubs with all of our friends
we don't go to sleep til the beer makes us week wake up and do it again!
so in thru the door we suddenly spot a group with quite a stare
we say hello just as they pass but they don't seem to care
then one trips and gets back up and says we pushed him down
so we get up and drop our mugs ready to stand our ground
(Oye lets do this mate!)
So we kick and punch and brawl awhile and everybody smiles
billy and ted (and don't forget fred!) all rowdy and hostile
the last punch thrown and everyone stops we buy them all a round
cuz that's the way we do it in our town!
(4) we drink we fight we sing through the night in pubs with all of our friends
we don't go to sleep til the beer makes us week wake up and do it again!
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3. |
The Business Man
02:51
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a business man is walking he steps into the road
he gets clipped by a pickup truck and then rips his coat
he gets up and brushes off the truck driver flees
and then he spots his briefcase smashed into debris
but he doesn't get mad he just gets up and grins
like he knows something he just won't admit
the man back on his way when it suddenly pours
he notices he doesn't have his umbrella anymore
he heads under an awning the awning tears thru
his suit is now soaked as badly as his shoes
but he's not upset in fact he smiles instead
and then buys a hat to put onto his head
a skip in his step the business man continues on
when suddenly a robber pulls out a gun
give me your wallet and no one gets hurt
he hands it over slowly and then drops to the dirt
the thief runs away and the man gets back up
and yet he's still smiling despite all his bad luck
the rain finally stopping the man makes it home
where he's suddenly struck by lightning on top of his dome
he opens the door with a smile and a shake
and startled by his state his wife said, well how was your day?
I was hit by a truck and lost my briefcase today
got struck by lightning and my suit is soaking and frayed
she was impressed he was smiling after all he survived
he was so happy...just to be alive.
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4. |
The Last Donut
04:06
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i been running from the police today
what the hell I did i just got no way
to tell what it is now that i've done
just me and my bike aint bothered no one
he's getting closer so i turn up the speed
there aint no way this ah piggy's catching me
i turn around and pull a treat out of my bag
then the cop gets on the horn and this is what he's got to say
Just drop the donut, put the pastry on the ground
it's the last bear claw in town
oh piggy please, just why the hell can't you see
you want this delight? you're going to have to hunt me tonight
(woo!)
i take the next exit off the interstate
riding thru town to make my getaway
i squeeze between a couple SUVs
there aint no way he's ever catching me
40 little piggys chasing me down the road
pretty sure i'm putting on one hell of a show
not enough here to go around anyway
then the cop is on the horn is repeating what he's got to say
Just drop the donut, put the pastry on the ground
it's the last bear claw in town
oh piggy please, just why the hell can't you see
you want this delight? woah then hunt me tonight
(wooooooo!)
they turn on the heat but I'm getting bored
the fleet behind me has never wanted it more
crack a beer open just to turn up the heat
there aint no way they're ever catching me
Switch my flip up and they pull out their guns
i slow a little bit just to have some fun
just when they think I'm giving up the fight oh!
turn on the boosters they ignite i give a smile and flip them
a little wave goodbye
Just drop the donut, put the pastry on the ground
it's the last bear claw in town
oh piggy please, just why the hell can't you see
you want this delight? Woah!
Just drop the donut, put the pastry on the ground
it's the last bear claw in town
oh piggy please, just why the hell can't you see
you want this delight? Woah! then hunt me tonight
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5. |
How Awesome I Am
02:45
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you're so incredible in every single way
you make my insides light up every time I see your face
the sight of your blue eyes always makes my heart leap
and every time I turn away inside I start to weep
You're everything I love and everything I need
that long flowing hair of yours is so fucking sweet
a day without looking in the mirror would be total hell
because I'm in love with myself
you're so adorable you handsome devil you
and if I were allowed to you know I'd say I do
there is no one else I'd want my valentine to be
and every time I think who rocks? oh that's right...me!
you could bring world peace just by smiling on a stage
and solve a million mysteries and bake a delicious cake
a day without a glance at that beauty'd be total hell
because I'm in love with myself
my opinion wouldn't change if you were broke and on the streets
being a male prostitute just trying to make ends meet
cuz my love for me is something no one's ever understood
by the way this cake is really fucking good
there should be a movie about how much ya rock
I hope they don't cast clooney though cuz that guy is a cock
and of course he could never look quite as good as you
and to match that sexy voice would be real hard to do
so I'll play the part myself i'm the only one who can
and then I'll run and hide from all of my adoring fans
and then i'll look into the mirror in my trailer on the shelf
because I'm in love with myself
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6. |
Monopoly
01:20
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you're trapped inside the house right now there is no where to go
because it's snowing like a mother fucker everywhere you know
and all your friends just came over and now they're stuck with you
and ya got no beer or weed just a broken PS2
so ya go into the closet and you're busting out a game
that you're never gonna finish anyway
Monopoly!
Gonna play Monopoly!
Fuck Yeah! Monopoly!
Woo! Monopoly!
(Pregnant Pause)
I'm like Donald Trump buying up all your property
and I'm doing it with some oddly colored undersized money
you can bet that I will bankrupt you and put you all to shame
until you kick the board out hollering you know what? Fuck this game!
I never go to jail and all the railroads are mine
I'll kick your ass and take your every dime!
Monopoly!
Gonna Rock Monopoly
Kicking Ass in Monopoly
20 days of Monopoly!
Woo. yeah.
By Parker Bros.
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