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Santa Claus is a Vampire

from MAXMas Volume 2 by Multiple Artists

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about

This is my original song for the MAXMas CD dealing with my firm belief that Santa is, in fact, a vampire. The lyrics will describe the rest :)

lyrics

long ago there was a battle for christmas night
between a man named santa claus and jesus christ
one was honoring the kids who were good all year
the other was a birthday bash with a ton of beer
they had a common ground so they made a compromise
to share the 25th and all the christmas lights
they devised a plan and they knew just what to do
to stop the killing in the summer too

make a list of all the kids who are naughty and are nice (Nice!)
and give the presents to the kids who know what's wrong from right (Right!)
and take the bad kids home with you inside your giant sacks
cuz no one likes those little fucking brats!

Santa Claus is a Vampire (woah!)
how you think those raindeer can fly? (Woah!)
children's blood is pure and elf blood tastes like shit
and santa gets hungry by july!

you ever wonder how he could still be alive
at the ripe old age of one hundred ninety five
always sending those fake santas out into the malls
cuz daylight would be his curtain call
he never eats the cookies you leave out for him
but he'll drink the blood out dry of your best friend tim
because tim was a dick to his mom and dad all year
now timmy's got santa to fear!

he's making a list of who's naughty and who's nice (nice!)
stock piling the kids who do now know what's wrong from right (right!)
in cages at the north pole where no screams will be heard
it's curtains for all you little turds!

Santa Claus is a Vampire (woah!)
how you think those raindeer can fly? (Woah!)
children's blood is pure and elf blood tastes like shit
and santa gets hungry by july!

credits

from MAXMas Volume 2, released December 10, 2011

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